Gratitude was the first thing I learned in recovery, even before Acceptance. My original sponsor (I practice Recovery Dharma these days so I no longer have this woman as my sponsor today.) had me begin scribing gratitude lists from day one. She started me with five, and we worked our way up to ten. Every night we’d text them to each other. Once I was comfortable sharing with her, she added me to the gratitude group chat where ten of us women would share our lists with one another every night. It was a non-negotiable for me. My sponsor told me to do it, so I did it. I wanted to be sober. It changed my life.
I have since learned that writing a daily gratitude list can physically rewire the human brain. It makes sense. If I know I’ve got a list to make at the end of the day, I’m looking for things to write. My day is filled with searching for gratitude… and one of the sayings they have in AA is, “What you focus on, grows”, which basically means that if you’re looking for something, you will surely find it. It’s true. It works. My depression is constant. But it is significantly less prominent when I am practicing daily gratitude.
Gratitude is an attitude. There is no time to sit around and complain when I am looking for the things in my life for which I am grateful. It’s quite contagious. Before making grat lists, I used to hate the sounds of birds chirping in the morning. In fact, I wasn’t a morning person at all. But then I started getting up early enough to watch the sun rise. Every morning, it’s the most magnificent work of art I have ever seen. And each day it’s different. It really is a stunning display of the universe’s power. That is what an attitude of gratitude can do. It can change my whole outlook on life.
I would highly recommend for anyone who is not already practicing a daily gratitude list, to start doing so as soon as possible. These days, since I’m no longer a practicing member of AA, I have a different group of people with whom I share my lists. Some days I don’t share it all, but I always write my “gratefuls” in my journal. Every night. Again, it's non-negotiable. Any time I have ever started someone on a gratitude journey, I tell them to start small. You aren’t used to looking for your gratitude, so it might take some time to identify. Start with three items, and slowly add more until you get to ten. The rules are: There can’t be duplicates from day to day, and ten is the minimum amount. What’s nice about keeping them written in a journal or notebook, is that on rough days when everything seems to be going wrong, I can peek back at those old lists and realize that my life is actually pretty great. It’s a spiffy tool for helping me get out of my own head. Similarly, I have a jar of victories, where I write down small victories throughout the week and place them in my jar. On Sundays, I’ll pull them out and remember the highlights. But I digress.
Gratitude is a perfect way to change your perspective. It works. One of my displays of gratitude is waking up every morning and thanking my Higher Power for a brand new day of opportunities. I promise, if you stick to the lists, you will see a change in your thinking. And if you don’t, come talk to me. We’ll figure out what’s going on!
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